Let me say this first – what a title. It feels so heavy that I almost don't want to write anything about it, but it has bothered me for a while, so I might as well trudge on.
When I started coming back to writing two days (posts) back, I was quickly falling in love with write.as, not just for the minimalistic feel it had but also because it was so refreshingly “old” in some sense. There was no like button, and besides the “X views” on the upper left of each post, there was no real way I could tell if anyone else had read whatever I wrote due to the lack of engagement tools. Perfect, I thought. I pass the idea along to a friend who I knew also wrote in secret, and then came the question of how I was going to read his work.
It took some time to figure out. Did I really have to check on his page every day for an update? Is there a way to tie it down to something I use daily, like Twitter or my emails? And then it hits me – RSS Feeds, you dummy. I feel slightly ashamed as I brush the cobwebs off my old Feedly account, but I erase everything anyway and start putting his web address in as a first entry.
I enter my cousin's website in too and check her posts – nothing for the last three months, and the post before that, another four months before. Looking for other blogs to follow from people I knew, I hit up a friend from back home and ask her how her blog was doing, was it still alive? Not really, I'm doing something new on IG was the answer. We talk for a bit more, and eventually, she says something that felt like the huge elephant occupying the corner of my brain -
Sadly, people just don't read anymore. They prefer photos and videos.
It's true. I've put in good money to get a Youtube Premium account to avoid ads to get my content as quickly as possible. I like scrolling and reading 280 or fewer characters worth of updates, but never really bothering to click the news or website link unless I was really compelled and curious enough to. Worse, I'd still hit that heart and RT button even without knowing the full content. I've opted out of good newsletters if I found them too long in any way – they had to be a particular type of short for me to keep them.
To add to my list of “sins,” I no longer read. I used to devour books one after the other, hitting my Goodreads yearly goal, and probably adding a few more for good measure. I loved reading to the point that I pushed my introverted self to join a local book community – Bookbed – and even dabbled writing a feature and a book review for the website. Nowadays, I buy a second-hand book and toss it to my TBR pile but never get to it. My Kindle, which I remember to plug in at least every once a month, has accumulated dust at the bottom of my nightstand. I miss library deadlines altogether.
I just haven't brought myself to try out audiobooks, since my attention span is just way tinier than it used to be.
They say the first step is to accept where you are, and I do. I mourn the books I was never able to read before turning them back in at the return chute. They say that the way you write is a reflection of how much you've read – and it's painful to be aware that the language I use when writing all this is very plain, simple, and limited. My four years in a creative writing club feels like a distant dream. But this isn't all to say that I've lost hope in all of it.
Like I've mentioned, I've resurrected my Feedly account and have been trying to embrace the fact that if I were to do this challenge myself, I'd have to put in the extra effort and read things to get better. I've hunted down my favorite YT channels and checked if they have a main blog – added those to the mix as well. My books will have to wait since they feel very oppressive right now, but I promise myself I'll get a start on them, one way or another.
Lastly, I feel like I have to point out that just reading might not be a long term and sustainable solution to my dilemma – participating actively will. A few weeks ago, I've begun commenting on YT videos that I particularly liked or had a strong opinion about. Although most of them were left (probably) unread, a few people commented back with thanks or comments, either with their agreement or disagreement on my opinion. Being an actual person behind a screen, participating actively, is better than passively digesting media in my opinion. I'm left to wonder why I've never really done it before.
Of course, I won't comment on every single one! That is borderline spam (and we all hate that – I would never wish it on anyone else).
2/100
That was a lot to unpack! I'm currently doing a challenge called “100 Days to Offload” – you can join in the fun too by visiting https://100daystooffload.com
I'll be writing for the next 98 days, but if you'd like to drop a message (even just to say hi!), get in touch with me here – I would be absolutely thrilled to hear from you!
#100DaysToOffload #Journal